Today I've invited my mom in to share some of her thoughts on the good in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. My mom has always loved a simple life built around family & ministry with some room for margin. We are the first to admit we aren't perfect at balancing our lives & schedules, but COVID-19 definitely spurred some mindset shifts for all of us! I am so excited for you to read this & honestly if you want me back after hearing her writing I'll be surprised ;) Anyway, that's all from me for today! Enjoy!!
make yourself at home,
Liv
Post-Pandemic Ponderings
Lately I’ve been catching my mind’s eye peering over the fence, wondering how these quarantined days will shape us after we are all let out of the gate to rejoin life as we once knew it. And as I ponder, I have an optimism and a hope that we will be infused with a fresh appreciation for margin. Is it just me or did you all notice the way margin in our schedules seemed to have gone out of vogue about the same time as margarine? You remember how we all got duped a few decades back that somehow margarine was better for us than the real deal. Come to find out, it wasn’t. At some point along the way, seems like our minds also got shortchanged into believing that life would be better for us and our families if our calendars looked like something out of a war strategy playbook...filled to the brim with prescheduled obligations. Places we signed up to be on a regular basis, day in and week out. Now we’ve landed smack in the middle of 2020 with an unprecedented and unwelcomed halt to our agendas. Could it be that one of the mercies of God in all of this was to let us experience anew the blessedness and peace of mind that come from manageable schedules and a simpler way of living?
I want to be careful not to be misunderstood as downplaying the distress around the world and the sadness, loss and strain so many individuals have incurred due to COVID-19. Those are topics I will leave for a different platform. However, I did note along the way that many of the families I know seemed to be inhaling large gulps of satisfaction and exhaling years of built-up stress. The lifestyle that we’ve suddenly been allowed, or rather that was forced upon us, has seemed as far away as Mayberry for forever and a day. To quote a friend’s text during the lockdown…”Loving having dinner together every night, playing games, and reading together. I don’t think we want to return to our crazy schedule!” Well, good news friends! Believe it or not, we do have some control over this. And, let’s fess up, control kinda speaks our language, doesn’t it? Especially after this season of learning just how much we do NOT have control over!
You, like me, have probably made some pretty sweet observations in the last several weeks. More sidewalk chalk. Dad and college son out for a walk. Whole families taking bike rides together for the first time in what seems like forever. Folks desiring to pick up a new hobby, a real live non-screen hobby. Friendly waves and little conversations with complete strangers. Teens looking up recipes and jumping in to cook a meal when they would normally have been at a sport’s practice. Neighbors playing an evening game of croquet together… 6 feet apart at all times of course! Time for lingering conversations around the dinner table with the whole family… discussing world events, worldviews, wishes and whimseys. Every. Night. Words of thanks and appreciation flying to and from people like never before. A high school friend talking of how this break was good for her as she has learned to embrace this pace and find new ways to worship. Kids calling grandparents. Lots of heartfelt care. It has been a beautiful thing to behold, has it not? And, most importantly, seeing a new zeal for diving into God’s Word, holding fast to Him and His ways, and a willingness to talk openly about it with believers and unbelievers alike. You know, as I think about it, I just don’t think there was very much boredom going on. People deprivation, yes. Having to do things we can put off when we are always on the move, yes. Maybe a few too many movies to escape into another world for a short time. But, all in all, beautiful good old-fashioned living.
So, I am wondering…when we all get the green light, will we be faster than cheetahs chasing their supper (to borrow Olivia’s phrase) to again pack out our schedules tight as a drum? Or, maybe, just maybe, we will intentionally see the value in the margin and purposefully weave it into our lives. One decision at a time, empowered to do so because we have tasted the freedom on the other side. I’d like to share two principles that came my way long ago that may propel us in this direction if we have that desire.
The first one came from my dad as he once told me early on in our parenting, “everything you say yes to, you say no to something else.” When there is some white space on the calendar… in every day, in every week, in a month of weekends… we are freed to choose what will fill those spaces. And it seems we have just found out that there is a whole lot of fun, satisfaction, and more importantly, meaning to be had in activities that can be enjoyed when our lives are not scheduled to the hilt. Time for family bonfires, girl time out shopping (we will have a duty to stimulate the economy you know :), pick-up games of basketball with the kids, a visit to grandpa and grandma’s house where grandma gets to show us her prized roses and talk of her childhood, without having to go to the ballfield to get a glimpse of us. Time for the little conversations, time for the big conversations. Quantity morphing into quality.
Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Principle #2 came from a source I cannot recall, but oh my, does it ever aid in decision making. It is the suggestion that first and foremost in each of our lives should be a responsibility to those things that only we can do. Many opportunities come our way almost daily. When we stop and consider that only we can parent our child, only we can be our mother’s daughter, only we can be the mate our spouse needs, only we are in the exact God-given ministry we’ve been led to…. You get the point. Many folks are capable of running the school fundraiser, so if it comes at a time that will hinder our “first and foremosts”, then we can see the value in letting that opportunity go to someone else.
Both of these principles are very freeing and yet very constraining, with huge potential power for helping us make wise choices. I am definitely not suggesting that we should all just pony up around our families and forget about other responsibilities or outreaches that may be meant for us. But rather, space in our schedules allows the time to take on the most meaningful opportunities in our individual spheres.
A cheerleader for this kind of lifestyle is renowned author Dr. Kevin Leman. If you are raising kids or hope to soon, I more than highly recommend his book titled “Home Court Advantage.” I think you will find it refreshingly candid and almost revolutionary for our day and age. It is a fun read and just chock full of wisdom and practicality. It is probably my favorite ever book, and if I could order one and put it in the hands of every family, I would. Check it out on Amazon here.
Thanks for pondering with me today! As we hit re-entry, may we allow ourselves to breathe and say “yes, please” to a little helping of margin! Let’s redeem our time. Let’s redeem the time.
Ephesians 5:15-16 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Here she is folks...my mom, Stacey Feller. For as much as I LOVE adventuring, I'd attribute much of my love for home to this incredible woman who has made our house into a home that has been the backdrop of so many wonderful memories. Whether gathered around the table for a meal, outside playing spike ball, soaking in the hot tub, or inviting all our friends over for a game night, she's helped me realize that some of the best moments are the simplest ones.